Health scares just got a whole lot scarier

Health scares are never pleasant and always worrying, but I have never been more worried than I was this week.

Over the past couple of months I have felt slightly different in the chest area and experienced on and off pain. Naturally, Hallie bangs into my chest a lot, she throws her head back or ‘cuddles’ too hard etc, and sometimes these have led to bruises, so I just put it all down to that, until this week. The pain got considerably worse and I felt a lump/swelling on the breast bone area. Panic hit, as it does when it’s anything in that area.

I have to admit I haven’t checked my breasts enough recently, and time really isn’t an excuse and I will make time from now on! This meant that when I checked the rest of the area I wasn’t entirely sure what was normal for me and what wasn’t. We all know our bodies change¬†after having a baby, so it is important to get to know our new bodies, and our new breasts. The not knowing made it more scary.

But it was the thought of getting sick and not being there for Hallie that really scared me. I know it is a slight over reaction, but I hadn’t really thought about it before and it really freaked me out! I cried on and off yesterday just at the thought of it. With that in mind it has kicked my butt into making plans in case the unthinkable did happen. It also reminded me how lucky I am to have had these last 16 months together, almost full time, it really has been lovely.

I called the doctors first thing this morning and made an appointment, and managed to get in today. I am very relieved to say it is nothing sinister and I have Costochondritis, which after some Googling last night is what I was hoping for (sounds strange but the alternatives I had in my mind were much, much worse). Essentially I was right to think it was down to increased pressure on my chest, and I have inflammation where the breast bone meets, which causes pain, for possibly the next few months, but I could not be happier :). My mind is at rest after a full breast examination and I feel happier for having visited the doctor.

If there is ever any changes in your breast area please go, no matter how small, it is probably nothing and will put your mind at rest. Most breast cancers are discovered by you checking your own boobs, so get familiar and get checking…

Is there any stage of parenting that isn’t scary? Nah, probably not.

Father’s Day is here again

I do like Father’s Day, it’s so nice for the dad’s to feel special. My partner does just as much for Hallie as I do, from the start we have tried to keep it quite equal. I think it can be quite difficult in the beginning for the Dad’s, especially with breastfeeding, as that can take up a lot of the time and clearly the Mum is mainly involved in that. Mum’s can be so focused on bonding with the baby themselves, that they forget the Dad also needs that chance to bond, but there are plenty of other tasks the Dad’s can do (nappy changing for one haha).

It can be annoying when people say I am lucky that Matt is so good, not because I don’t want him to be given praise, but because we are an equal partnership, we went into this parenting journey together, equally, as Giovanna Fletcher put it so well earlier ‘he is one half of a parenting team’.

We are a great team and we truly are disorganised harmony.


I am not the perfect Mum and he is not the perfect Dad, but we are guiding each other through parenting and having a lot of fun along the way. We are taking it as seriously as it needs to be taken, with out it being too serious, and I think that’s the key. We have learnt/are learning chill. Nobody can be chilled with a newborn, it’s just freaking impossible. I wish I had written down all the crazy worst case scenarios that went through my head so I could have a good laugh at them now. I feel like one parent learns chill before the other (Dad’s I am kinda looking at you) and this can lead to…tension…this springs to mind…


But again, that’s just part of the journey of parenting together.

Happy Father’s Day to all you Dadda’s out there x