I think it is great when I see mums building up other mums, rather than pulling them down. We should be nice to each other, we deserve it. A lot of the messages I see are ‘this mum can’ or you ‘you can do this’ etc, which is great, because of course we can, we’ve got this! But, it is also OK if some days we can’t.
Some days I can be so exhausted if Hallie has been up in the night, or I didn’t sleep well. We have all had those days, mostly a Sunday night, where we can’t sleep before work, and we then have to get up and do a full days work, well times that by ten when you have to get up and be mum or dad for the day. There’s no solo relaxing toilet trips, or an uninterupt coffee while you send emails. IT. IS. FULL. ON.
That’s why I am saying it is OK if you can’t. If you get up and all you can do that day is feed your child and make sure they are OK, that is FINE. If they spend the day mainly watching Peppa Pig and Disney films, that is OK. I can guarantee you will be a much better parent the next day, if you don’t put pressure on yourself and chill when you need it.
I feel like 20 months into this parenting business, I am finally letting go of the mummy guilt and realising that if I am putting too much pressure on myself or run myself down, I am not going to be the best parent I can be. You bought your kids all those toys for a reason, let them have a day playing with them. I know sometimes it is easier said than done, as sometimes your toddler doesn’t want to chill and it is easier to take them out, well that can be the case, but I do find if I am chilled it can rub off on Hallie and she will give in to some chilling.
Proof of this is my sister, she is 100% chill. Hallie can be going through one of her ‘no nap’ phases, but as soon as Auntie Lauren is looking after her she is napping for 2+ hours, they both are. Everytime without fail.
So let’s take care of ourselves and our children. And if you just don’t have the energy for soft play one day, don’t do it, there is always tomorrow.
It really is OK if you can’t.