From the day Hallie was born my partner has always been a very hands on Dad. On evening and weekends he will do most the feeds and nappy changes, which is great as it really gives me time to do other things (housework and work, not hours in a salon or anything).
It is that dreaded time of year again, when I have received the email from my accountant telling me he needs my end of year stuff (shout out to Matthew Priest @ Forrester Boyd, he is a fantastic accountant, making my financial life so much easier). Trying to do this whilst looking after Hallie is a no go, so Matt was me for the day yesterday whilst I got it done.
I think it is important that Dad’s/Mums (part-time parent’s lets call them, that sounds harsh, I don’t mean it to) step into the shoes of the full-time parent’s, as it is quite hard to understand unless you do it. Normally when Matt is looking after Hallie I am there, I am there to watch her while he showers etc. However yesterday I withdrew services (apart from making lunch and dinner, which I shouldn’t have really done as it is cheating a bit), I was in the same room, but at my computer doing finances.
Now because I was in the same room this led to Matt wandering off to put washing on, have a wee, get his Kindle, so every time this happened I shouted “Matt you can’t leave your daughter, I wouldn’t be able to”. Highly irritating I am sure, but it was important I could get on with my work and also important that Matt understands how hard it is to do anything but give Hallie 100%. Lets just say, Matt didn’t shower until mid-afternoon.
Now I should mention that this week Hallie has been teething, and it has been tough. There has been no pleasing her, constant moaning (she has learnt to say mama/mum/mmmm, totally amazing, but totally draining on repeat in a moany voice). We had a pretty bad day with her Saturday under out joint parenting, but of course on Matt’s solo day, she was an angel and thankfully her teeth had given her a break…
Look at him READING. I got so jealous of him being able to read I stayed up until 2am to finish a book, regretting it this morning – yep! On a serious note, so pleased she was feeling better (and that she took naps so Matt could read, hmm).
At around 6pm Hallie did a huge poo that went all over matts joggers, he wasn’t overly thrilled with this and ran off to change, shouting that it was my turn. I simply replied, “you wouldn’t even be back from work yet, this is still your time”. He took this in good humour and cleaned her up whilst I served tea (dinner).
Matt is brilliant with Hallie and he really loves spending time with her, but by the evening his patients were waning and by the time we got into bed he muttered “I am shattered, she is exhausting”.
Matt has always been very understanding with me and sympathetic through pregnancy and early stages of motherhood, however he is only human and I do think he forgets what I do on a daily basis. It probably doesn’t help that when he messages me from work asking what we are doing, I respond with ‘chilling’, as we all know, there is no down time with a baby and the older the get, the more there is to tackled.
I really appreciated the time this weekend that Matt allowed me to have, and I think he might appreciate what I do a little bit more. Maybe slightly unfair as he is understanding, so lets say it refreshed his memory.
Disclaimer: this is not being proofread as Hallie is waking from her 5min nap.